From the moment our oldest son was born, he was our world. I always imagined I’d cry when I first held my baby in my arms, but I didn’t…I just felt this immediate warmth as I cradled him in amazement, wondering how I had lived my first 29 years without him in my life. As I watched him grow, I knew that he must be the smartest, cutest, funniest, and most serious (albeit chubbiest) baby to ever exist on this planet. He was my second great love (next to his daddy, of course).
So, when we were expecting baby #2, I wondered how I could ever love another child as much as I loved my first. But, I loved baby #2 just as much, if not more, than my first. By the second time around, I realized what a miracle it was to grow and raise a baby – and I was thankful for every single moment I was given with this little boy. With the first child, I took everything for granted – pregnancy, childbirth, bringing home baby. With #2, I knew that it was foolish to “expect” anything as a parent. Baby #2 was so different than my first, and while #1 was a serious, old soul trapped in a pint-sized body, #2 had a devilish sense of humor behind his soulful almond-shaped eyes. He, too, brought more joy to our family than we ever could have imagined.
By the time #3 came around, I had convinced myself that there was no way I had any room left in my heart to love a child as much as I loved my first two boys. And then I saw baby #3…this perfect, perfect boy – with bits of both babies #1 and #2 in his appearance, and a sweet personality that was just all his own. I knew immediately that my life had not been complete until he arrived and wondered if I might not even love him the most, as he was the piece to finally complete our family?
Yet, I realize it is not that I love one child any more than the other, its that I love each of them differently. #1 is my partner in crime, the boy who never ceases to amaze me, the child who welcomes others with such a huge heart – that it makes me so proud to be his mom. #2 is my clown, the one who makes me laugh, the happy-go-lucky, sensitive boy I can always count on for a snuggle at the end of an exhausting day. And then there is #3, who is still coming into his own, who I love for all the possibilities in who he might be and because he will always, always be my baby.